Confessions of a Drunken Warrior
by Faiakishi
Summary: Thank you Dad, for giving me a name that means drunken warrior. Thank you, Yue for giving me this stalkerish diary software that I believe will come alive in the night and kill me. And thank you Universe, for moving me to the Fire Nation. I hate you all.


**Saturday,** **September**** 3th, 2011 11:38 AM**

**NAME: **Sokka Hakoda Nerohota. I'm named after the warrior who helped Avatar Aang kick serious ass at the end of the Great War.

**AGE: **Umm...about seventeen. ALMOST eighteen! My birthday is soon! Just about here!

**BIRTHDATE: **Grr... June 20th. 1994. (I hate you, diary software bastards!)

**SIGN:** Umm...what? If I had a signature sign, it would say CAUTION: IMPENDING DOOM. And it would be strapped to my clavicle, whatever that is.

Oh! My ZODIAC sign! Haha...I knew that. (Yes!) Gemini, I guess. Apparently I am 'Energetic', 'Clever', and 'Witty', but I am also 'Impulsive', and 'Devious.' Or so says the green bar that just slid down, scaring the crap out of me.

**WHERE DO YOU LIVE?: **Okay, that's creepy. I feel like I'm supplying all the details of my life to my own personal stalker.

Well, I USED to live in Chameleon Bay, with my father and my whacked-out sister, but that has changed due to recent, unforseen events. Dad loses his job with Southern Shui International Insurance, Dad has no money to pay for Katara's new sparkly _aqua_ (not blue) Jeep, Dad gets offered a job at this weird business called Ozai Inc. and I get to take a permanent vacation to the Fire Nation, while Katara gets to stay with our Gran-Gran and her new husband. (Why, Pakku? Why do you hate me?)

So, now I'm sitting in this very uncomfortable chair in this very uncomfortable plane being very uncomfortably stared down by ninja flight attendants. (WHY was I getting out of my seat? Uh, maybe because I had to use the BATHROOM?) Dad thinks I'm being a brat for not 'appreciating' this 'opportunity', but I could care less. I might appreciate it more if he had told me, I don't know, more than FIVE DAYS in advance.

**FAMILY MEMBERS? PETS?: **This is definitely feeling like a stalker form. Why is everything in caps lock? And bold? I FEEL INTIMIDATED!

Eh, just who I've already listed. My mom died a while back, so it's just me, Dad, and Kat. Though now it's just me and Dad. I suppose I should include Gran-Gran, because, you know, gave my father life and all that. I love my Gran. But now she's married to this total tool with a stick up his ass named Pakku. I hate him. He won't even let me call him Gramp-Gramp!

And I NEED to include Bato. He's been my Dad's best friend for like...ever. He's kinda always been there for us, especially after my mom died.

I don't really have any pets. Though I do have Yue, who really needs to be included as a family member. (Or pet. Maybe.) Yue is MY best friend, and has been so since we were little kids. Although now she's been spending all her time with that loser Hahn, and leaving me in the dust. She did make an effort to spend time with me the past few days, though, once she heard I was leaving. She's the one who gave me this diary software so I can 'record my adventures.' Yeah, right. I'm not gonna have any adventures without you, Yue.

**HOBBIES: **I know that word! Well, um...school. I like science. And math. I'm part of our science club, and pretty damn good at it.

Other than that, I play a bit of soccer. I'm not a die-hard or anything, I just like being out there, fighting for the ball.

I like art and theater, I guess. I feel like I'm a pretty good drawer, and I've always wanted to try out for our school plays. Never got a chance to, though.

**WHAT DO YOU DO IN YOUR SPARE TIME?: **Uh, homework? Fiddle around on the computer. Hang out with Yue. Work. I work at a pizza place. Well, I USED to work at a pizza place.

I guess I don't have a lot of spare time. I keep pretty busy, but that's okay. As long as I get my eight hours of sleep, I'm good. And I guess now, writing in this weird diary software. NOTE: The software made me fill out this dumb form.

**CURRENT MOOD: **Cramped, actually. Annoyed that my father just uprooted me from the town I've lived my entire life and is flying me OVER THE OCEAN to live someplace I've never been. Yeah.

_'Man cannot discover new oceans unless he has courage to lose sight of the shore.' -Andre Gide_

Okay...WHAT the heck?

Is this diary thingy PSYCHIC? Where the HELL did that quote come from? How did it know EXACTLY what would piss me off most today?

I don't WANT to discover new oceans. I want to keep both my feet firmly planted on the sand, thank you very much. Preferably in Chameleon Bay.

I hate this. I don't want to move. I want to STAY in my house, my awkward basement bedroom, the splinter-y deck by the pool, the somewhat frightening unidentified tree in the backyard Yue and I used to climb.

When Dad first told Katara and me he got a new job, we were excited. Even AFTER he told us the company was based in the Fire Nation.

Katara asked if she could come along some time to go shopping and hit the beaches. I wanted to go shopping too, but I was SO excited to try the MEAT there!

But no, Dad says. This wasn't a job he could work via e-mail and obsessive Facebooking, nope. If he took this job, we would have to MOVE there. MOVE. To the FIRE NATION. To ANOTHER COUNTRY.

One question, I wanted to ask my father. Are you on CRACK?

But no. He was serious. No, not only was he SERIOUS about the fact we all had to MOVE across the freaking OCEAN, he had known about that fact for THREE WEEKS and neglected to tell us until that night.

Katara was upset, obviously. I mean, we were BOTH upset, but at least I didn't call Gran-Gran up and guilt her into letting me move in. (Not that there would have been room. Gran-Gran and Pakku's house has only two bedrooms, so unless I wanted to sleep in the entryway, I couldn't stay there.) I even went so far as to tell my father I'd give up meat AND sarcasm if he didn't make me move. I mean, come on! That's my whole identity!

So Katara packed up her clothes and makeup and whatnot and drove it all out to Gran-Gran's place in her shiny Jeep, leaving the excess of her pure _crap _in her old room. (Dad isn't selling the house because apparently we'll be living in a cheap APARTMENT in the Fire Nation) I got to box up all my books and my computer, carefully hiding the porn from Dad's eye, and sell that hideous purple and orange van that I think was new in the 70s.

And so, here I am. On a plane. To nowhere. Okay, to SOMEWHERE. The Fire Nation. Which may as well be nowhere.

-Sokka

**Sunday, September 4, 2011 1:43 AM**

**CURRENT MOOD: **I want to throw a llama at my Dad. Or maybe a moose.

Hmm. So the psychic diary software doesn't even know it's the same DAY!

Well...I guess it isn't. Oh, well. Why does the day end at midnight? Nobody is in bed then!

There is a time change...I think it would only be about 8 or 9 back in Chameleon Bay.

Ugh. I hate this place. I hate the Fire Nation, I hate the heat and humidity, I hate all the effing FLOWERS everywhere, I HATE this apartment.

Well, actually our apartment is very nice. Disregard that last comment.

I finished my last entry on the plane, and I would have CONTINUED to write on the plane, had my father not told me to quit typing because I was going to get brain cancer from the radiation. I wanted to tell him that it's CELL PHONES that supposedly give brain cancer, but I didn't feel like fighting him.

So it was about ten o'clock when we landed, and my father pulled a sleepy Sokka though the terminal and we hailed a cab. (Which was an interesting experience in and of itself.) Our driver was a hippee, and was smoking something that I'm not entirely sure was legal, and kept asking us if we had accepted Jesus Christ as our savior.

We avoided eye contact, and in about two hours we pulled into the apartment COMPLEX.

I had been complaining about living in a stinky little apartment for a week at this point. I had imagined some one room cube with flowered sheets hung across the ceiling to divide it and our very own hobo living in the bathtub.

But NO.

As soon as we drove in, I could tell the place was beautiful. (Yeah, it was dark. The MOON made it pretty.) We got to drive through this impressive stone gate and down a fancy brick road that was lined some bright red flowers. I think Dad said they were called Fire Lilys.

The main office was nearly deserted by the time we got there, but the flirty blonde woman working there kept flipping her hair, showing off all her pearly teeth and bubbly laughing at EVERYTHING my dad said. And he was just laughing back, cracking dumb jokes no one would really find funny. I'm like, 'Dad it's their JOB to flirt with you.' But whatever. My Dad likes to think he's a stud.

So the annoying homewrecker lady finally handed us the keys to our apartment and the rather thick folder about, well, EVERYTHING that has to do with this place.

Dad leads me back out to the cab, who has been patiently idling on the curb, (on account of the fact we still have stuff in there, our moving van will be here tomorrow.) and the cab drives us to our apartment.

Let me rephrase that. APARTMENT is not the word. TOWNHOUSE is the word. The place had three stories of awesomeness, including a two car garage. (Glad Kat didn't come along. I get a space all to myself! Or I would, you know. If I still had a car.) The bottom level was really just the garage and an awkward room I guess you could use as a bedroom for a greasy nerd gamer child or a dungeon, but we'll probably just use it for storage. Or a man cave.

The buildings were sort of boxy looking, like a little kid had made them out of legos. I'm pretty sure that was the idea, because the block was painted in with bright reds, blues, yellows, and greens. Our home had different shades of blue painted on, the next house over had reds. It looked kind of ugly at first, but when I got used to seeing it, it really did look artsy. Kinda cool, I guess.

Upstairs is one really big room, with one corner dominated by long, sleek white countertops and a big-ass refrigerator. The other half of the room didn't really have much going on, I guess that'll be where we put the couch and TV and crap. The whole room is a really bright yellow, which is frightening. We'll be painting that.

Down the hallway is one bedroom and a really disturbing looking bathroom, with really ugly yellow tiles and sunny wallpaper. Dad said it'll be the first thing we change. The bedroom is an okay size, a nice powdery blue. We don't need to change it, we'll just shove Katara in there when she visits. We also have our own private deck with a staircase leading down to a bunch of grass randomly plopped in back of the block.

The top floor has kind of a lofty feeling to it, it opens up to an open area of nothingness, which again made me think, 'man cave!' (Though, I guess technically it can't be called a man cave if it's an open area of nothingness.)

A bedroom and a 3/4 bathroom were up there, then if you go down the frightening hallway, which is open on one side so you can look down to the kitchen/living room, possibly your doom, there is ANOTHER bedroom, a freaking huge one with a giant front window and an attached full bathroom, which includes a Jacuzzi tub and a separate stall shower.

DAD: "You can have any of the bedrooms you want."

ME: "Really? Even the master?"

DAD: "Yep."

I picked the master, of course. I was like, helloooo Jacuzzi! Rubber Ducky time! I figure, Dad owes me BIG time.

So, here I am. We don't have any actual FURNITURE in here yet, the plumbing and kitchen appliances were pretty much the only things that came with the apartment, and like I said, moving trunk won't get here until tomorrow.

We'll get most of our furniture tomorrow when it comes in the trunk, but Dad told me to leave my bed, dresser, and desk at home. Said he'd buy me new stuff once we got here. Guess he thinks he'll be making a million bucks at this new job of his.

So since we don't have any furniture, I get to sleep with Dad. On a bunch of blankets. On the floor. In the kitchen/living room.

Geeze, I remember when I was little, it was a TREAT to be able to sleep on the floor. Now I just want to curl up and die.

Dad went out to get burgers, so I've just been killing time, typing away. I'm kinda concerned about my room, I mean, I don't have a BED. I start school on Tuesday, so I have one day to buy all my furniture. I'm a little concerned about this.

Can I say this? I LOVE the new house. I will never, ever tell my dad that, because then he'll get all smug and be like, 'I told you so!' but...it's so nice. We have more space than we did at the old house, especially without Kat. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE my sister. But sometimes she can just be...annoyingly optimistic.

And I have my very own JACUZZI! And I think Dad said that there's a swimming pool and a fitness room here. It's like living in a RESORT.

I just wish it was all back in Chameleon Bay.

Oh, Dad's back. Aaaand he just called me by my full name.

"Sokka-a-a-a Hakoda-a-a-a Nerohota-a-a-a! Your dinner is getting co-o-o-ld, Chinito!"

WHY does he think it's okay to call me that? I am NOT Chinese, nor will I ever be! I don't think I looked 'Chinese' as a baby, either, which is apparently where the humiliating nickname comes from.

Kill me now.

-Sokka

* * *

><p><strong>This is the first Avatar fanfic I've done on this account (so I haven't written Avatar in like, two years) and I'm not really used to it. Also I haven't written comedy so long, I feel rusty. o_0 I got Sokka's last name from translations of things Water Tribe related, but since I fail I've forgotton what I translated. It was probably a combination of 'water' and 'hunter' or 'fisher' translated into Greek or Japanese...I think. (Greek gives awesome names for things.) And the nickname 'Chinito' is actually what MY dad calls me and my twin brother. (Well, he calls ME Chinita) because apparently we looked 'Chinese' at birth and my Dad is a lame Japanese-Italian who tries to act like an American who thinks they're Mexican. Go figure.<strong>

**I have another fanfic I'm writing for Hana-Kimi, so I have no idea what's going to happen when it comes to updates. Just roll with it. **

**So anyway, for those that don't know me, (everyone) my name is Chihiro. Or you can call me Kameko. Or really anything you want, that's how everyone does it. I really don't give a shit.**

**Review please!**

**-Chihiro**


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